Standing with no energy in her, Bodun stared blankly, pupils fixed firmly on nothing, lips apart, mouth dry, hands cold, heart numb and brain slightly dysfunctional.

Bodun was absentminded and didn’t realize the car in front of her had been horning and her phone had been ringing. She almost jumped out of her skin when she felt a tap on her shoulder
“Jesus Christ!” she exclaimed turning her head sharply to the direction of the tap

“I’m sorry are you Mrs… Miss Bodun?” the startled man replied taking two steps back

“Who are you?”

I’m Kolade, you requested a ride on the app and we just spoke over the phone”

“Oh ok, where’s the car?

“Right in front of you ma’am” he opened the door to the back seat of the car across Bodun and she walked in like she was under hypnosis.

Bodun wasn’t sure what emotion to feel, as anger, embarrassment, betrayal, confusion disappointment and even jealousy battled for her attention. She realised she was choking on suppressed tears and it made breathing hard for her.

“Put on the radio” she whispered huskily

“What station would you prefer?” He asked, his eyes still fixed on the road

“Will you just put on the radio!” speaking through gritted teeth Bodun sounded like she was possessed

The driver scoffed lightly and put on the radio

“Turn up the volume!” Bodun was fighting back tears but nothing could stop the flood waiting to happen.

The driver slowly turned up the volume, halfway Bodun snapped
“Louder!” and in a jiffy the volume was at its highest.

The station was playing RnB songs, Bodun’s favorite but Bodun couldn’t care less, what she needed was the noise to drown the sound of her tears just in case she couldn’t hold back anymore. Then she heard the voice of Keri Hilson singing her hit song ‘Energy’ and Bodun felt the song was meant for her, she couldn’t resist singing along.

I wish I could rip out a page of my memory

Cause I put to much energy in him and me

Can’t wait till I get through this phase

Cause it’s killing me

Too bad we can’t re-write our own history

As the second part came on, the feeling of disappointment engulfed Bodun like wild fire and she felt her jaw and fist tighten, she could not sing anymore.

Such a mystery when he’s here with me

It’s hard to believe I’m still lonely

Chances fading now, patience running out

This ain’t how it’s supposed to be

The chorus ushered in the feeling of betrayal.

I’m having nightmares

From sleeping with the enemy

How do we reverse the chemistry

I don’t want us to be the end of me

This love is taking all of my energy

She felt pain course through her veins, tears flowed freely down her cheeks, her throat was constricted, she began to pant, her nose was dripping, her face scrunched in the most unflattering way, her legs shaking and through it all, she didn’t make a sound.
Each emotion took turns in tormenting her and as the last one, embarrassment, took it’s toll, the song ended.

Bodun closed her heavy eyes and didn’t realize she had drifted asleep until the driver tapped her and said politely
“We have arrived at your destination ma’am, can I end the trip?”

She jolted awake, wiped her cheek with her hand to clean up the drool, feeling hazy and confused her eyes darted about trying to figure out where she was. Slowly it all came back to her and she whispered

You can end the trip, thank you, good night Kolade

“Good night ma’am”

Her courteous attitude, puzzled Kolade as he had assumed she was a nasty person, he shrugged, ended the trip and drove off .

Bodun walked slowly to the compound and found her way to her apartment.

Home sweet home.

A cold shower was what she needed and that was the first thing she went for. Sitting on her bed, in her Pyjamas with a bowl of cereal and milk, she decided to replay the events that happened from the moment she stepped out of the house with Feranmi.

Walking to the car with Feranmi by her side, Bodun spotted a fair complexioned lady standing by the car and she wondered who was skinnier between the lady and Lola. The lady wore a wine coloured body con that sadly didn’t flatter her skinny bod.

So that’s Feranmi’s girlfriend… I really dont know what it is with guys and skinny ladies are they blind… Oh brother! Babe pack up, don’t let them in, don’t let them see, be the good girl you always have to be…oh great! now I’m singing Frozen.

Bodun’s thought made her smile and she directed the smile to the lady standing by the car, but when they got to the car, She realised she was smiling at a ticking bomb. The lady looked like she was going to explode anytime soon

“What were you doing since?” she shouted the moment Bodun and Feranmi got to her.

“If you knew you were going to take so long, you shouldn’t have kept me waiting in the car”
She hissed and got into the front passenger seat.

Awkward.. Bodun it’s not too late to change your mind and go back to your house… Why are you getting into the car? Don’t say I didn’t tell you oh!

Despite her sixth sense insistent warning She got into the back seat and sat down hoping to God she wasnt making her most stupid mistake ever.
Feranmi got into the front seat but he didn’t drive off, rather he sat and seemed to be cooling off. It was quiet in the car, too quiet and Bodun wanted to scream, laugh or do anything funny just to break the ice, she could not stop imagining what it would have felt like if it were just her and Feranmi.

After a few seconds that seemed like forever, Feranmi cleared his throat and said

“Esther, meet Bodun my Friend”

On cue, as if she had been waiting for that moment to say her lines, Esther turned to look at Bodun and gave her a fake smile that Bodun knew too well because she herself was wearing one at the moment.

“Hi Bodun, it’s really nice to meet you. I’m sorry to have crashed on your date with MY BOYFRIEND.. ” she scrunched her Face and ticked her index finger in the air as if trying to figure something out “…well not really sorry. You see I just got to Lagos from Abuja today and I came just because I missed MY MAN. I couldn’t let an opportunity to be with him pass me by now, could I?

Esther was marking territory with emphasis on ‘my boyfriend’ and ‘my man’, and Bodun caught the drift, it was after all too obvious to be unnoticed. Bodun was irked by it all and said amidst a fake laugh
Nice to meet you too Esther, Feranmi here has told me a lot about you”
Feranmi speedily adjusted his rear-view mirror so that he could see Bodun’s face and she caught his.
“Really?” Esther squealed with excitement

“Yeah, really?” a very confused Feranmi asked raising up his eyebrow and tilting his opened mouth towards his nose.

Bodun stared back at Feranmi with a subtle look that said No dummy, I’m just trying to make your Dracula of a Girlfriend feel less insecure so you better shut up, and with a believable fake smile that only Feranmi could understand Bodun looked at Esther and said “Yeah so much”

That’s so sweet, I’m sorry he never told me about you… By the way FE, you didn’t tell me you guys picked a dress code, you are both wearing shades of blue and I‘m sticking out like a sore thumb”

I’m sorry what? Hahaha! FE? What’s that supposed to be? A Nickname? Pfff! Wait what does she mean dress code? Oh… I see, we’re practically twinning. Now that’s connection! Thank goodness you know you are a sore thumb! Jeez Feranmi what are you doing with this girl…FE! Hehehehehe hilarious.

Amidst the bombshell Feranmi dropped, Bodun hadn’t realise how similar her outfit was to Feranmi. Feranmi on the other hand had noticed and couldn’t help smiling a bit when he said

“We didn’t pick a dress code, it’s just plain coincidence. Now that the introduction has been done, Can we go?”

“I guess so” Bodun mumbled after waiting in vain for a sulking Esther to respond.

The ride was awkward and though it was short, it seemed to take ages to end so Bodun couldn’t hide her excitement when they finally arrived at the Ikeja City mall.

Feranmi was trying to act cool but Bodun had a gut feeling he wasn’t happy. She felt he had planned something sweet and romantic for them, but someone just had to show up. Anyway he put himself in this position and I’m done making excuses for guys.

“So ladies what should we do? See a movie or get something to eat first”

Feranmi seemed distant and tensed, he kept glancing around and seemed to avoiding Bodun’s eyes.

“You should ask Bimbo” Esther said acting disinterested

“Who?” Feranmi was confused

“Her now” She pointed at Bodun

“You mean Bodun?”

Yeah yeah, Bodun, after all it was supposed to be just the two of you”

The sarcasm polluted the air and Bodun perceived the stench so she laughed albeit fake and said “But you are the girlfriend so its your call”

Bodun wasn’t interested in calling shots, she just wanted to get the night done and over with but Esther insisted that Bodun decide for them. Meanwhile, Feranmi watched helplessly and as Bodun turned to look at him she pitied him and would do anything to put him out of his misery

“Alright hold on let me check something
Bodun brought out her phone and surfed the net to find the showing times of the cinema
“So the next movie isn’t due till about 45 minutes, except we want to join the ones that have started let’s get something to eat first

“All these fat people, you guys will choose food first anytime. Just like… ” Esther blurted out

“Esther!” Feranmi was angry and didn’t try to conceal it

“What? she knows I’m joking now, you know right. Bimbo?

“My name is Bodun, get that in your head, it’s not so hard” Bodun seemed calm but in a scary way. A million voices were echoing in Bodun’s head and she knew if she uttered one more word, someone would end on the hospital bed and it definitely won’t be her.
Apparently, Feranmi fell in love with a very senseless somebody.

“The name is not sticking, can I just call you B?”

What did I say? Senseless!

In a way that showed superiority, Esther said “So, we’ll see a movie first, and eat later

Can you just imagine!

“Fine, let’s go then” Feranmi was losing patience . Bodun waited for them to lead the way and she followed keeping a distance between them.

After getting their tickets they had to wait around for the movie time and Bodun was bored out of her mind. The waiting, Feranmi and Esther’s hushed conversation, Esther’s forceful PDA, then the fact that she was hungry didn’t help matters for Bodun, so she decided she would sneak to get something to eat. After thinking of how to excuse herself she decided to use the old fake phone call trick. She put her phone to her ear and stepped away from the couple but stayed close enough so they could hear her
Hey what’s up…I’m fine oh..I’m just chilling at ICM… Are you serious? … Wow, where are you now? let me come and see your ugly face… Coldstone oh ok, I’ll be right there… ” You deserve an award girl hehe

She turned to the couple and excused herself “Sorry guys I’ll be right back, I want to see a friend“.
She was smiling sheepishly, proud of her acting prowess, but Feranmi wasn’t having it, she could see something in his eyes.
“I’ll go down with you, I want to use the gents

“Oh…” Esther whispered

“Yeah …come on Bodun” He was in a rush as he dragged Bodun out of there before Esther could say anything.

When they had gotten down, Feranmi dragged Bodun by her arm to a corner near the restroom

“What is it Feranmi? I told you I wanted to meet a friend

“Bodun we both know there’s no friend”

“Excuse me… “

“Excuse you, I know you are pissed at me and you have every right to be. Just listen to what I have to say, dont say anything, just listen”

“Fine… “

“Abodunrin, I am so sorry, I shouldn’t have put you in this position, honestly I didn’t think you would actually come. Esther and I… I’ll talk about that later but I’m sorry for her behavior and mine. Forgive me?

This is so awkwardIs that it? Is that why you now called my full name?… No problem, I’ve heard you, Can I go see my friend now?”

“Bodun come on, don’t be like this “

“Be like how na?” she weirdly showed him her teeth as a smile to end the conversation, she really wanted to get something to eat.

“I don’t want to lose you” Feranmi said in a way that made Bodun’s heart skip a beat.
Those words made Bodun realise the seriousness of the situation at hand and she stopped her gimmicks, looked at Feranmi with all seriousness and just before walking away she scoffed and said “I was never yours”


She didn’t turn back she was so angry and was grateful that there was no-one around them. Halfway through taking her third step she felt a yank on her arm and found herself standing a breath away from Feranmi. They had both forgotten their agreement to be just friends, as erotic thoughts flashed through their minds. He wanted to kiss her and she knew it, she saw it in his eyes, everything he wanted to do to her, his eyes were ablaze with the flames of passion and his hold on her sent an unexplainable sensation down her spine.

One more second of silence and a kiss would happen, Feranmi fought hard to regain self control, took a deep breath and said “I mean it, I don’t want to lose you. Don’t you understand what you mean to me?”

Wake up girl, don’t fall for it, we are done walking this path. No, I do not understand what I mean to you and that’s because I mean nothing. We barley know each other, just two weeks and I’m already in this awkward position. You have a girlfriend Feranmi, a bloody girlfriend! I only came along because this is going to be our first and last time together. No outing, no texts and definitely no calls because I’ll be damned if I let you break my defenses

Bodun was surprised at what she was saying her head had taken complete control of the conversation, her heart was too numb to speak. She stepped out of his grip and found her self heading for the exit knowing she wasn’t going to get something to eat neither would she be returning for the movie. The night was over for her, she was heading home.

Sitting on her bed now she couldn’t remember Feranmi’s reaction or walking out or even requesting a ride. She laid back and put on her music player to pick the song for her mood, she settled for ‘Only love can hurt like this” by Paloma Faith.

I’d tell myself you don’t mean a thing

But what we got, got no hold on me?

But when you’re not there I just crumble

I tell myself that I don’t care that much

But I feel like I’m dying till I feel your touch

Only love, only love can hurt like this

Only love can hurt like this

Must have been a deadly kiss

Only love can hurt like this…

It was 10pm, too late at night for Bodun to sing along, so it gave her room to really listen to the lyrics of the song. By the time the song ended, she realised something she hadn’t paid attention to before and it left one question in her head. Am I in love with him?

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